Michelle Obama is setting the record straight—and setting some long-overdue boundaries.
The former First Lady, 61, opened up about the swirling rumors around her marriage to Barack Obama after she chose not to attend two major events earlier this year: President Jimmy Carter’s funeral and Donald Trump’s second inauguration. Her absence led to online speculation, especially since Barack, 63, showed up solo to both.
Appearing on The Diary of a CEO podcast with host Steven Bartlett on May 1, Michelle addressed the chatter with her signature blend of humor and honesty.
“If I were having problems with my husband, everybody would know,” she said with a laugh. “I’m not a martyr. I’d be problem-solving in public like, ‘Let me tell you what he did.’”
She nodded to her brother and frequent podcast co-host, Craig Robinson, who joined the conversation and chimed in with his own joke: “If they were having a problem, I’d be doing a podcast with him!”
Despite her past comments about the ups and downs of marriage, Michelle was clear: she and Barack were never on the brink of divorce.
“The beauty of our partnership is that neither of us was ever going to quit,” she said. “That’s just not who we are. And we know that about each other.”
A New Season of Saying “No”
Michelle explained that skipping recent public events had nothing to do with her marriage—and everything to do with a new phase of life.
“At 61, I’m finally giving myself permission to do what I want,” she said. “I think it takes women until we’re about 60 to say, ‘You know what? I think I know a thing or two.’”
She reflected on the emotional labor of being a public figure, especially during her years in the White House. Always doing “the right thing,” always “going high,” and always putting others first. But now? She’s choosing herself.
“When the Trump inauguration came up, I just asked, ‘Do I want to go?’” Michelle recalled. “I’ve been a box-checker all my life, doing what’s expected. But this time, I thought, ‘Do I want to upend my peace, leave my kids, for something I don’t feel called to do?’ I didn’t. So I didn’t go.”
This wasn’t an easy decision for her, especially given how deeply she’s valued responsibility and example-setting. “It took everything in me to say no to what people expected—and yes to what felt right for me.”
Modeling a Healthier Path
Michelle also hopes her choices send a message—especially to her daughters, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23, and to young women everywhere.
“I want my girls to learn a different way of being,” she said. “To know it’s okay to say no. That they don’t have to keep proving themselves over and over, the way so many of our mothers and grandmothers did.”
She continued: “If after everything I’ve done, I still feel pressure to prove that I love my country, that I’m a good woman, that I always go high… then what bar are we setting for the next generation?”
For Michelle, stepping back wasn’t just about missing an event—it was a conscious act of reclaiming her time, peace, and power.
“I think I’ve done enough,” she said. “And if people don’t see that by now, then maybe they never will. And that’s okay.”
This News Originally appeared on www.people.com
